I wanted to write some really profound lesson I learned from 2007, but so far I haven’t come up with anything. What I’ve learned seems to be a random collection of observations, insights, and questions. Nevertheless, some of these might be useful or interesting, so here is a sampling:
FRIENDSHIP: Friendship is a funny thing. It is so desirable, yet in its purest form so unattainable. Most of my adult life I’ve tried so hard to cultivate friendships that I’ve suppressed my true personality, as well as my opinions and sometimes even convictions, believing that my true self is not sufficiently likable. But the result has been friendships that (with a few exceptions) barely exist, that are more illusion than reality — and there are not even many of those. I’m left believing that others like not the real me, but instead this limited and fine-tuned projection of me, if that. As a result, lately I have become a little more outspoken. So far it has neither helped nor hindered my relationships, but at least I feel more genuine. As much as I want to be likable, I feel even more compelled to be honest. Whether that will add or detract from my friendships remains to be seen, but either way I am willing to bear the consequences. This is partly because I have come to believe that a true friend will like me for who I am, and such a friendship will only blossom when who I am is outwardly apparent. (Of course, such a life must be lived in the context of who God wants me to be.)
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