3ABN's booth at GC

3ABN’s booth was very popular. If you were able to visit the booth, you got to see some of my department’s handiwork: the 25th anniversary blue bag, which went like hot cakes; the 3ABN and 3ABN Latino pens; the lapel pins, which were also extremely popular; the Origins DVD; the Latino DVD; the Catch the Vision magazine; the 3ABN World magazine; the Kitchen Favorites cookbook; the Day by Day devotional book; the door hangers and fliers; the coloring book; the Pillars CD and DVDs. These items were each designed partially or completely by my assistant Adam Dean and myself. All of the items were received very well, and we ran clear out of most by the end of the convention.

Working the booth was very tiring; the hours were long, and I’m not accustomed to standing all day, so my feet were a bit sore at the end of the day. But it was a good experience, just to see how much people liked 3ABN and the items we carry.

It was nice to see friends and family there, although I saw only a portion of the people I know who were there. In fact, my brother and his wife were working at a booth not 10 or 20 feet from the 3ABN booth, but I never saw them until the second day I was there, it was so busy!

I didn’t make it to many of the meetings. But the Sabbath morning sermon by Ted Wilson was extraordinary. (Sadly, the audio in my section was so bad, due to reverb or echoing, that it was very difficult to make out his words for the first portion of the sermon. I had to cover one ear, and this helped me concentrate on the sound from a particular set of speakers, which let me hear better. Thankfully the audio problem was fixed partway through the sermon, and after that everyone in my section could hear just fine.)

If you’d like to hear his message, you can watch it here:

You can also read a transcript of his sermon.

I wanted to attend the Parade of Nations, but decided to head home early. Unfortunately because of that, I missed the tribute to 3ABN and the performance of one of the songs from our Pillars of Our Faith album. 3ABN received scant official recognition during the event (to the point that recognition was notably absent, not only from our perspective, but also from our viewers and supporters), and in fact even the tribute to 3ABN was not carried by the Hope Channel who were doing all the taping and broadcasting of the main meetings, so even that was missed by the larger TV audience. But it was good that on the last day of the event, at this popular ceremony, 3ABN has honored before the attendees.

All in all, it was a good experience, although not something I would do for pleasure. I had hoped to also see the Georgia Aquarium while I was there, but I didn’t even find the time to do that. Still, for the sake of my role at 3ABN, I was glad I could be there. And I have high hopes for the administrative changes that occurred.

Quality may be subjective, but quantity is not. This was clearly the most attended GYC ever, with well over 3,000 attendees on the opening night, and reports of close to 6,000 attendees on Sabbath. It has come to be a powerful movement.

This year’s theme was “unASHAMED” (yeah, capitalized like that). A little irony for me was that in the last year or so, I took down my personal unashamed.net website. I’m laughing. Maybe I was just ahead of my time. (The good news is that all of the worthy articles from that site are now available on this one, or will be when they are finally edited.)

The Meetings

The main (plenary) meetings at GYC were very good.

David Asscherick’s presentations were all first rate, and hit on important themes. His talks were titled, “Unashamed of the Crucified Christ,” “Unashamed of the Creative Christ,” and “Unashamed of the Coming Christ.” These talks could be summarized, respectively, as: (1) recognizing the scandalous, foolish reputation of First Century Christianity helps prepare us for scorn in our day, and the death of Jesus for us must remain a vital theme; (2) Jesus’ creative power, understood through a literal, historical understanding of Genesis 1 and 2, is essential to our message and mission today, and there is no place for Christianity, much less Seventh-day Adventism, in a theory of Darwinian origins; and (3) we need an urgency in our evangelism that is not based on current events, but instead is grounded in the urgency of human need.

My great disappointment with conservative Adventism is its tendency to focus on doctrinal correctness and mission activity to the exclusion of Jesus-focused discipleship. If it can be successfully argued that Christian doctrine stands or falls with Genesis 1 and 2, it is even more obvious that Christian practice stands or falls with our connection to a living Christ. Sometimes we conservative Adventists come across as straight-laced religionists bent on evangelism and orthodoxy, but come up short in living as followers of a risen Lord. I include myself in this, because in reflection on my own life I often see more theory than substance. But of this I am certain: If Jesus is not a living reality for us today, all of these other things we do are vain and empty.

For these reasons, David’s presentations were a breath of fresh air, because I felt that he spoke not merely as a conservative Seventh-day Adventist, but as an ardent Christian. I think that is essential.

Many of the meetings, and not just David’s, are now available for download on GYC’s website. (They are also available in audio format on AudioVerse.) They will also air eventually on 3ABN, and be available from 3ABN on DVD.

The Seminars

I went to the first couple seminars, and then for various reasons — somewhat contrary to my wishes — missed the remaining ones. All the seminars looked good, although it was hard to find ones that particularly interested me. Many of the topics seemed all too familiar. I guess that is a symptom of going to GYC for so many years. Obviously GYC needs to cater to the new recruits, and not aim at the generation of no-longer-youth.

The first seminar I wanted to attend, Dr. Pipim’s, was totally full. Instead I went to one about reaching people in one’s community, and it was quite good. I got into Dr. Pipim’s seminar about new spirituality movements for the second seminar. It was a good message, although I can’t say I learned anything new, since the topic is a bit of a hobbyhorse for me. He did throw out some cool soundbites though: “Liberals are nice people with bad ideas. Conservatives are people with good ideas and difficult personalities.” He said we need the liberal’s niceness, combined with the conservative’s biblical fidelity, and I agree. “What we call a ‘liberal’ today, in the past we called ‘backslidden.’” (Both quotes slightly paraphrased due to my poor memory.) He went on to say that the term “liberal” is a gloss that makes spiritual problems sound like just a variation in an acceptable spectrum than runs from liberal to conservative. The same could probably be said for “conservative.” He also said he didn’t particularly care for the relativistic terms “liberal” and “conservative,” and I feel likewise. But they are terms in common use, so we have to deal with them. I should add that this seminar was about holiness versus the nebulous spirituality of new spiritual movements; the part about liberals and conservatives was just a short tangent.

The Testimonies

One thing you can always expect to hear at GYC is a lineup of great testimonies. There was an incredible, miracle-infused testimony by a woman named Deniza Hush, former Muslim and New Age practitioner. If you can listen to the recording of it, by all means do so. There were also other testimonies of young people doing evangelism, and more.

The Panels

There were two panel discussion at GYC, both on Sabbath.

If there was one low point at GYC for me, it was the morning panel, which featured a number of highly respected church leaders, including Mark Finley, Mike Ryan, Don Schneider, and several others (all GC vice presidents, I believe). The questions put to these leaders were very good — dealing with subjects such as the promotion of evolution and homosexuality at particular SDA educational institutions, inefficiencies in church organizational structure, and inequalities in how the church treats “too liberal” and “too conservative” ministries and organizations. The early answers were good. But their later answers were evasive and unsatisfactory. Although I disagreed with only a few minor things that they said, it was these leaders’ inability to directly answer these critical questions that left me disappointed. But there is no need to take my word for it; listen, and decide for yourself. Despite their weak answers, it seemed that the great body of attendees were strongly united on most or all of the topics presented.

(On the topic of the promotion of evolution and homosexuality within the church, the response of the leaders was that these conflicts shouldn’t happen, faithful members should make their voice heard to the respective boards, members should work through the system, and the intellectually honest thing would be for those with divergent views to remove themselves from their church positions. However, it’s obvious that members have attempted to follow this advice, without seeing the problems corrected. Eventually firmer steps have to be taken, because the false teachers in question have responsible, teaching, administrative positions. But the panelists were unable to give a definite answer about how this problem should be stopped. Likening the situation to Jesus’ patience with Judas was inappropriate; despite Judas’ internal struggles, we have no reason to believe that Judas was openly teaching contrary to Jesus. The reference to the situation with J.H. Kellogg was valid, but we are already past that stage; these problems have already come to fruition.)

The afternoon panel was much better. It was focused on more everyday subjects (how do you find a mate? what are some Christian guidelines for music? what does the Bible say about homosexuality? how can someone trust God who has been sexually abused as a child? and others), and the answers were biblical, practical, warm, and at times witty. It was just an enjoyable discussion to listen to.

The Exhibits

There was a fairly large showing of exhibitors this year; it seems to feel more and more like ASI all the time.

I was attending GYC on my own dime, so I was not officially working 3ABN’s booth. But I did help out a little, mainly because I wanted to observe how things were going. Our booth had many visitors, and the items we were giving away seemed well-liked. This was especially true for the Origins DVD that we made especially for this event, featuring a 3ABN Today Live program with David Asscherick and Sean Pitman on the subject of creation versus evolution. Another new item that moved well was our Rapid Bible Reference cards.

I was glad to see the EGW Estate present, and showing the new beta of the Ellen White software for Mac, since I’ve been involved in that project. Mac laptops seemed to be “the computer to have” at this year’s GYC; they were everywhere. So I was glad to see the Mac software receiving attention.

Pan de Vida had a great booth with a strong showing of beautifully designed, spiritually rich materials. They seem to have a knack for producing content that looks and tastes fresh.

My brother’s new book Deeper sold reasonably well. I was told he sold over 100 copies at the event. (I designed the cover for it, so am glad to know it’s moving.)

Friends

The abundance of friends attending GYC is a mixed blessing. On the one hand, it is good to see everyone. On the other, there is little time to spend with any of them. People are always on the go, and when there is a moment to catch up, they tend to get mobbed.

Most of the time at GYC events I sit alone or with strangers. I wouldn’t say this is exactly my preference. I always look for friends to sit with, but somehow I can never find any (or else they are already sitting with others), and eventually I give up trying. At mealtimes I just follow the flag-wavers to whichever table, and sometimes I end up with people I know, but most of the time with ones I don’t.

So if you were at GYC, and we didn’t get much time together, please don’t take it personally. I’m glad I got to see some of you, to know you are still alive and working, and to catch up a bit.

At my previous workplace, Young Disciple Ministries, I compiled the original style guidelines — which at first amounted to only one or two pages of very basic rules. Apparently that task defaulted to me because I fussed the most. Although editing was a secondary part of my job, I had always been a stickler for editorial consistency and grammatical correctness. I did not recognize it for many years, but I learned I had a pretty good eye and ear for correct grammar and construction, even when I didn’t know a participle from a misplaced modifier.

Later I went on to teach a college class in copyediting and proofreading. I think I did pretty well at it, despite sometimes learning the material barely in time to teach it! Once an older visitor to my class knew more about the subject than I did — so much more, in fact, that I couldn’t even understand her questions. That kept me humble. Shortcomings aside, I was a quick learner, and was soon up to speed.

When I came to 3ABN, I was surprised to find that there was no editorial style guide — although this became less surprising when I realized just how bad the editorial standards were, and how much inconsistency there was. We had everything from bad grammar to runaway exclamation marks to variations on how to spell “3ABN.” There were precious few procedures in place to prevent or correct these problems, as well. It was truly an embarrassment.

For many years I got by with a copy of my Young Disciple style guidelines, which I gradually added to. Eventually I decided to compile them into a book.

The first edition of the 3ABN Stylebook came out in 2007. I circulated it around, and at least several people used it regularly. A few thanked me for putting it together.

I originally meant to release a new one each year. I had settled on a binder format that made it easy to swap out pages, and it included a handy supplement section for various topics related to writing and editing. However, producing the second edition took longer than expected. But this year it was finally released — the 2010 Edition.

I am quite happy with the overall design and structure of the content. I compared several style books for ideas, and I think the result is quite practical and intuitive.

Here is a sample from one page:

The 3ABN Stylebook is currently 57 pages long, and covers over 100 topics — some of which are quite detailed, and others are simply about how to spell a word. Compared to other style books, it’s quite modest. However, I have no intention of competing with the Chicago Manual of Style.

It still has much room for improvement. There are continually new subjects to add, and old subjects that need more clarification, refinement, or rethinking. Although it has a table of contents and is presented in alphabetical order, it could really use an index. And I continue to look at ways to improve the overall format.

Personally I found this project exciting and rewarding. It was actually fun to put together, even though it was also a lot of work. And I’m already compiling changes for the next edition.

MichaelPrewitt.com

I had been using JumpLine as my web-hosting company. It had been working well, but was somewhat expensive for the plan I had ($19.95/month). Plus it had limitations that kept me from growing my website. And it did not have a good web-based spam filter (at least not a free one), so I was downloading countless spam every month—an especially atrocious problem for an email device like the iPod Touch, which does not have any built-in spam filtering.

After some research, I decided to go with HostGator. The price is much cheaper (only $4.95/month), and at this point they provide everything I need. They use SpamAssassin as their spam filter, which seems pretty standard.

When it comes to server-side spam filtering, I prefer Abaca, which is what we use at 3ABN, but very few web hosting companies seem to offer it. SpamAssassin deletes a lot of junk without even delivering it, and marks other suspicious email as spam for easy sorting. This is OK. Abaca doesn’t deliver any suspicious spam, but holds it online, and it lets you sort the spam by the likelihood that it is spam, which is very, very convenient. With Abaca, at most I have to look at 5-10 messages, and I know everything after that is junk. With SpamAssassin, it is necessary to check each message in the spam folder, which thankfully isn’t that much after the obvious spam has been auto-deleted.

Email (IMAP)

Besides the spam filtering, I wanted to simplify my email system. I had multiple email addresses I wanted to consolidate. In short, I wanted to be able to manage all email through a shared account (IMAP), so that when I read or delete a message on one computer or on my iPod Touch, it is marked as read or deleted when I check my email on another computer; and when I send a message from one computer, the sent message can be accessed on the other computers. It was pretty easy to set up on HostGator, and it has made my email communication so much better, more fluid. It is also web-based, so that I can check it from a browser if necessary, from anywhere in the world.

Reinstalled XP Pro

I have Windows XP Professional on my Dell desktop computer, which I think had been installed 4-5 years ago. It had become very sluggish, so that even opening a web browser took a lot of time. I decided it was time to reinstall. It is working much better now (snappier, as the geeky types like to say). However, I am finding that Ubuntu meets most of my needs very well (too bad you can’t run Adobe software under it), so I’ve been spending more time with that lately, which is also installed on the same machine.

iPhone 3.0

I don’t have an iPhone, but iPhone 3.0 is the name of the software that runs on the iPod Touch. I just did the upgrade, and while I don’t yet notice any dramatic differences, it does have some very nice features (copy and paste, notably; and push notifications) that I look forward to using more.

Moments later a weather alert email appeared, saying there was a tornado watch in effect. I heard rain and thunder, and a little later my lights flickered and went out. The wind was picking up, so I went to a window to see what was happening.

By then the wind had turned to a dull roar. Sheets of rain were blowing horizontally across the ground. The trees were bending and swaying. Every so often the wind would die down just a bit, and then a blast of spray would flush through the trees, shaking every limb and leaf. The wind patterns, how they traveled over the roofs of the nearby apartments, and moved along the ground, cannot be described. It was like nothing I’d ever witnessed. It made me think of hurricane footage I’d seen on TV. (I later learned the wind gusts had exceeded 100 mph. The radio hosts called it an “inland hurricane.”)

I got my camera and took a little bit of video. But even though I was on the south side of the house, with the winds coming from the north, the currents were so strong that they kept blowing spray back under my porch, so I had to put the camera away to keep it from getting wet. Just seconds after I turned it off, I saw a tree fall in the woods behind my place, just a few feet from where I had aimed the camera.

The winds continued unabated for a little while, I’m not sure how long. It seems like it may have been an hour, and then it gradually slowed and stopped. The sun came out, and it might have been a beautiful day, if not for all the damage that had been done.

I got in my car to get my mail at the post office, and was amazed by what I saw. Fallen branches were everywhere. Small pieces of leaves were plastered to the north side of walls and cars and across roofs. I had to stop and clear away some small limbs to get through to the main road. While doing that, I noticed a new stream I had never seen before, emptying into the full and near-to-overflowing ditch that runs under the road.

On highway 34, a large tree had fallen near the Firestones’ home (formerly Dee Hilderbrand’s home, and the Sheltons’ before that), and was fully blocking one lane of the road. Other trees were down all over town. There was no power at the post office, and I was glad snail mail can be retrieved without electricity!

A little later I went into Benton to get some groceries at Wal-Mart. I was surprised to see that the power was off in Benton too, and trees had fallen across the road there in town. I had to take a side street detour to get around. A number of semi trucks, unable to take the side streets, were lined up for a block or so, waiting for a tree to be removed. Many of the traffic lights were not working, so every intersection had become a 4-way stop. It was slow going.

Thankfully at Wal-Mart the power was on. I got everything I needed. I met a coworker, Ted, and his wife there, and Ted told me several tornados had been sighted in the area. He had personally seen a funnel come down, and then go back up, apparently without doing any damage.

Naive as I was about how much damage had occurred, I expected that by the time I finished at Wal-Mart, the tree would be gone, the power would be back on, and everything would be back to normal. But I was surprised that the trip back through town was about the same as before.

I spent the rest of the afternoon waiting in vain for the power to come back. I went for walks, cleaned the house, read a little. I went over to 3ABN, and saw the main power was off there too, and they were running on backup generators. Several of the bradford pear trees were down, blocking the main entrance.

Trees blocking main entrance to 3ABN

I returned home. Eventually the sun set, and the sky turned dark. I pulled out an electric lantern, which thankfully still had a charge from probably a year or more ago, and made sure my flashlight worked. I listened to music, and then, with nothing else to do, I went to bed early — around 8:30.

Sabbath morning the power was still off. I was happy that there was still plenty of hot water, so I had a warm shower. I got dressed and went to church.

With no lighting, the main sanctuary was too dark to be used. But the church has a wing with lots of windows and skylights, so chairs were set up there, and that’s where we had both Sabbath school and church. There was a good class discussion, and in place of the sermon we had a powerful testimony by Brenda Walsh. A lot of people were moved to tears as she told about her recent experience reaching out to women inmates at a particular prison, and the miracles that made it possible. I actually enjoyed the service a lot—the smaller number of people present made it seem more intimate, and we sang regular old hymns with accompaniment from an upright piano. It was like being in a small church family.

I went back home for lunch, and spent the rest of the day reading, walking, and resting. I finally finished a book I had been working on for a couple years now! Although at times I felt a bit bored, the relaxed pace with getting to sleep early, and having no computers or internet, actually seemed rejuvenating.

Saturday night I went on a scouting mission for more groceries and ice. It was then that I began to get an idea of just how bad and widespread the damage was. The groceries were no problem, but ice was not to be found. In the grocery store parking lot I was surprised to see ten “bucket trucks” and some other service vehicles. Listening to the radio, I learned that every city and town around me had been hit, and nearly all had lost power. Some were expecting to be without power for 10-14 more days. I went to the larger city of Marion, but was surprised to find the whole town in darkness. Although the grocery store had lights on, it was closed. I learned most of the counties in southern Illinois had imposed an 8:30 or 9:00 curfew because of the storm damage; it was then about 9:30.

At night it was getting quite cool. Usually I sleep with the window a bit open, but I began to wonder if the computer equipment in my bedroom contributes more heat than I thought, because with all of that stuff off, my room was getting almost cold. I actually had a hard time sleeping that second night after the storm, because I was not adequately covered, even after getting up in the middle of the night to add another blanket.

Meanwhile all my food was starting to go bad, as the refrigerator and freezer gradually warmed. My oven is electric, so I was eating only foods that didn’t need heating. I was tempted to pull out my camp cook stove just to get something warm in my stomach, but never did.

On Sunday I heard that our water was going to cease. Reportedly, there was a leak in the town’s water tower, and they were about to shut it off. So I filled every available container with all the water I could. Then, to top it off, I learned that my street’s septic system has an electric pump; with the pump not working, there was danger of it backing up into the houses and apartments. So one of my last creature comforts—an abundance of pure, fresh water, with working toilets and showers—was suddenly yanked out from beneath me. But somehow at this point, I took it in stride, and it didn’t bother me too much. (I later learned the rumor about the water tower was false.)

On Sunday I drove into West Frankfort. I had heard the McDonalds restaurant there offered free wireless internet. Also, I wanted to recharge my laptop, which I could do with an inverter plugged into the cigarette lighter port while driving. I could also catch more news on the car radio (no radio at home). And I could get a bite to eat.

McDonalds was a success. With my iPod Touch I was able to update people about what was happening. (The register attendant seemed a little surprised that I only ordered a lemonade. But what else is there for the health-conscious at McDonalds?) After that I got a “Veggie Delight” at Subway, and returned home.

On the way home I heard gloomy news suggesting that Thompsonville, where I live, might be without power until Tuesday or even Wednesday. Still, I was thankful to be faring well. Many had suffered property damage, even loss of their homes.

A bright spot was listening to the stories on the radio of all the people, businesses, and churches that were doing things to help others in this difficult time. It made me think of what our church could—should—have been doing: providing food, ice, shelter. I also heard many people repeat this same idea: that they were reading books again, talking to their neighbors again, spending time with their families again. With no TV or other gadgets, the simpler pleasures of life were coming back.

Later on Sunday there was a glimmer of hope: I looked down my road, and saw lights. Could it be true? I wondered. I got in my car and drove down to take a look. Sure enough, street lights and building lights were on. Looking down another road, I saw 3ABN’s lights on. I called to let someone know, and then returned home to see if I had power. But I learned that the lights and buildings I had seen were on another power company’s system. My power was still gone. Still, I was a bit cheered as I went to bed.

Early in the morning I got a call from a coworker, Dee, telling me that power was back on. I switched the circuit breakers back to the “on” position, and was happy to hear the sounds of devices coming back to life throughout the house. Warm water, a working refrigerator, a working oven, a computer with Internet access—how blessed we are by all these things we take for granted. But I also learned there are blessings that come when we don’t have them.

* * *

Back at 3ABN, I learned firsthand what some coworkers and others had been through. Some had trees or branches or boards crash through their roofs. The pole barn of one person’s neighbor was completely blown apart, and the pieces were deposited in their yard. One weird story was about coworkers Tom and Vicki: Someone had dumped off a full five ton sceptic tank on their property, when an axel broke on the vehicle that was carrying it. But the owner never came back for it, and the methane began to build pressure. They were told by others that if it exploded it could level their house. Thankfully, after they reported it to local state agencies, it was taken away.

Here’s a picture of the fleet of vehicles that came to restore power. I heard 1300 crew members or more were sent to the area.

To the best of my knowledge, no life was lost due to the storm. And 3ABN remained on air nearly three days without utility power, running on their own generators. And my electric shaver, rechargeable lights, water, and food never ran out.

I had to laugh to myself when I saw it. Illinois is definitely corn and soybean country. I had no idea such a magazine existed, although it’s not too surprising. As my girlfriend Yara pointed out, even corn and soybeans “have their own importance.” Now I’m going to keep an eye out for The Sugar Beet Weekly.

Yesterday I came home in the evening to find this small black bird sleeping on my doorstep. (The blue in the photo is my door.) It didn’t fly away, even after I drove up to the house, walked to the porch, went around the house to the back door, got my housemate Hernando and a camera, came back around, and took a photo. (And no, it wasn’t dead!) I’ve never found a bird sleeping on my porch before, so it was cool. We had just had a strong storm pass through, and I think it was looking for a safe place to rest.

MYSTERIES

I don’t remember the exact path of my thoughts, but it started, I think, with reflecting on my own past relationships with young women, and the ambiguous nature of most of these relationships, particularly during my college years. What made these relationships so mysterious is that I never really understood what they were about. I knew what I wanted from them: I was looking for a future spouse — someone to love, and vice versa. But it was never really clear what any of these fine young women thought of me, and whenever I thought I knew, circumstances seemed to prove me wrong. What’s more, even though I had never expressed my intent, at times it appeared that one young woman or another felt we had something going, and seemed hurt if the “relationship” was breached. It always frustrated me that there seemed to be expectations, but never clear communication (from me or them) about those expectations.

It’s worth noting that at the college I attended, being more forthright about romantic intentions could get a person put on probation or expelled. Still, even after graduation, to a lesser degree these mysteries continued. On the one hand, during the friendship stage of a relationship, the girl I was getting to know might seem to expect more than what we were; and then, not finding it, lose interest. But on the other hand, being more proactive also had the unfortunate consequence of pushing female friends away. Was I being too warm, or too cold? It was too touchy-feely for me, completely hit-or-miss, shooting in the dark. I got the sense that a love relationship required some hidden magic formula that you just had to get lucky and guess. Any attempt to negotiate or figure out the nuances of the relationship would destroy it. But I could never bring myself to shoot for such blind love, because for me relationships are always built on clear intents, and built up by degrees.

MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING AND LOYALTY

In my mind, an emotional attachment never begins as a special relationship. A special relationship is something arrived at, and agreed upon. Emotions may start the relationship, but if it is ever to become anything “special,” there are stages to pass through. I would never consider a girl my girlfriend unless I thought that she also considered herself my girlfriend. We would have to agree on it (whether that means discussing it and shaking hands is another matter). I’ve always thought it is important to be explicit about such things. Furthermore, I would never ask a girl to be my girlfriend if I didn’t think we were already on the same terms about how a relationship should work (which would normally be deduced through casual interaction). Each stage has a foundation.

At some point I was hit with the word “loyalty.” Loyalty is very important to me. I consider myself a very loyal friend. In fact, I consider myself highly loyal even to people whom I don’t think of as friends — even with people who have become “enemies” or antagonists. As I thought about loyalty, it occurred to me that loyalty is a covenant concept. And loyalty is a critical element in any special relationship. Disloyalty, apart from forgiveness, will always destroy a relationship, or at least the emotional or social substance of it.

Loyalty does not mean anything without a clear, mutually understood relationship. A citizen of a kingdom cannot be loyal if he does not understand his relation to his ruler and his ruler’s expectations of him. A married couple has no basis for evaluating marriage loyalty apart from their vows. A child’s and parent’s loyalty to one another depends not merely on their physical connection, but on a clear understanding of each other’s expectations.

As I thought about this, I realized that all loyalty — from devotion to God to casual friendship — requires mutually agreed upon expectations. This means you cannot have a serious relationship without understanding the terms of it. The moment a relationship moves from general to special, the terms of the relationship become even more important.

Loyalty, by definition, is binding — you can’t get out of it on a whim. Loyalty in a relationship means that two people have made an agreement that they are determined to stand by. Such an on-going relationship governed by mutually agreed upon terms is a covenant, plain and simple.

The components of a covenant are so essential to a viable special friendship, that it is not possible to have such a friendship without having a covenant. In other words, forming a covenant is not something people in a special relationship do; it is the substance of what they already have. Whenever two parties move into a genuine special relationship, they always form a covenant (whether formal or not, whether conscious or not); and it is not possible to have a real relationship without a covenant.

I realize the word “covenant” may sound old-fashioned, and my statement that “it is not possible to have a real relationship without a covenant” may sound arbitrary. However, I am using the word in a broad sense. For more about my choice of the word “covenant,” please see the end of this post.

THE NEED FOR COVENANTS

Many people (myself included) have gotten into a quandary over whether they are “in a relationship” or not. However, the thought hit me that the very asking of this question is itself a negative answer. Relationships operate on mutual understanding. Without mutual understanding, there can be no assurance that the needs of either party are being met. While it is possible for two people to have secret feelings for each other, there is no basis for loyalty (relative to their expectations) without mutual understanding of the terms of the relationship. Without a basis for loyalty, there is no special relationship — nothing to be loyal to. False expectations arise. The young man may expect only from himself and his girl what he would expect from a close friendship; while the young woman may expect “something more,” and will judge the ebb and flow of the relationship based on what she thinks “something more” ought to look like. At times their expectations may correspond — after all, there is much in common between close friends and lovers. But at other times their expectations will differ, leading to frustrations and doubts.

The only stable, mature relationship is one in which both parties understand the terms of the relationship. When both parties are able to express and mutually agree on the terms of a relationship, an agreement is formed: a covenant. The terms of a covenant vary, whether it is dating, courtship, engagement, or marriage. But a covenant, formal or informal, must exist. This covenant may be simple: “We will love and respect one another. We will maintain this special relationship exclusive of all others.” It may be formally stated, or it might simply reflect the sum of lots of small exchanges of words over time. (But formally stated is safer.) If both parties do not share a mutually agreed upon relationship (a covenant), their relationship is an illusion. It is broken, even when it appears to be working.

The problem with many apparently special relationships is that there is no covenant. Neither party knows what to expect of the other. Nothing is clearly promised, nor clearly denied. The relationship simply flows through various undefined forms, which each party is at various times satisfied and unsatisfied with. The most obvious sign of such a poor relationship is the simple question: “What is this relationship that we have?” Or, “Are we a couple? I’m not sure.” It can be said with certainty that in all such cases, the terms of the relationship have never been settled; there is no covenant; there is no solidity to the relationship; what one or both parties may secretly hope for, is presently nothing more than a desire, a dream, a wish. Fond aspirations do not constitute a special relationship. A mature relationship requires mutual understanding, loyalty, resolve — in short, a covenant.

To summarize what this means for me, it is that I must be intentional in every special relationship, and clearly convey what my expectations are. I must also learn from the other person what their expectations are. Only in that way can we work through the difficulties of our relationship successfully, only then can we have confidence in the direction of the relationship, and only then can our proven loyalty to one another be the ground for deepening love.

* * *

ABOUT THE WORD “COVENANT”

I am using the word “covenant” for at least two reasons. First, it is a biblical term. Throughout the Bible we find both God forming covenants with people, and people forming covenants with each other. Examples include Hebrews 8:10; Ruth 1:16-18. Second, recently I was reading about the Protestant concept of the covenantal nature of rulership, which is a kind of relationship. In the classic Protestant view, the governing principle between rulers and people is not nationality or blood or force of arms or history, but covenants — mutually agreed upon, and mutually beneficial. The word “covenant” sounds a bit old-fashioned today, but I still like it.

According to the dictionary, a covenant is an agreement or contract. In legal or theological circles, these words — covenant, agreement, contract — are sometimes used interchangeably. However, I prefer the word “covenant” because of the connotations it carries, which are more than the mere dictionary definition or contemporary legal meaning. In my mind, the word “covenant” carries more weight than a mere agreement, and does not bear the legalistic overtones of a contract. Let’s consider each of these words, and a couple others, briefly:

AGREEMENT: An agreement is the basis of any covenant. Still, the word “agreement” by itself misses the sense of a promise or binding obligation. The word “agreement” falls short in conveying commitment. People may agree one day, and disagree another. A covenant, on the other hand, clearly expresses the idea of two people or entities pledging their fidelity to one another over time.

CONTRACT: Contracts generally are not based on loyalty, but on self-interest. Therefore they are usually enforced with legal deterrents, even threats. For example, if you choose to break your cell phone contract, you can usually expect to pay an early termination fee. A business that violates its contract with another business or individual might be sued. But a covenant is grounded in loyalty. Although there are often bad consequences for breaking a covenant, these are usually not detailed in advance or emphasized. A covenant implies personal commitments and the interest of each party in each other. A contract is something businesses do; a covenant is something friends or lovers do. (You’ve never been asked to sign a cell phone covenant, have you?)

VOW: Another word used, especially in the Bible, for binding personal commitments is “vow.” Vows and covenants share common ground. In fact, a wedding covenant is often called a vow. The reasons I prefer the word “covenant” to the word “vow” are: First, personal vows are so strongly connected to marriage that it is hard to broaden the use of the word in people’s minds. Second, non-marriage vows are often related to accomplishing a single, time-limited objective, whereas a covenant is an ongoing relationship. Third, vows are often used in a negative context (“I vow my revenge!”). Fourth, a vow is often used to mean an unconditional pledge, whereas covenants are usually based on conditions, including loyalty.

COMMITMENT: “Commitment” is a word often used in the context of special relationships. Although commitment is a big part of what a covenant is about, I have some reservations about this word. Many lovers enter into commitments (often one-sided) without ever coming into agreement on mutual terms. A covenant, in contrast, is all about mutual terms that are mutually agreed upon. Relationship advice is full of emphasis on commitment — but commitment to what, exactly? In practice, the what is often undefined (friendship? preparing for marriage?). In such cases, commitment becomes little more than commitment to be disappointed. In short, poorly defined special relationships are prone to brokenness, despite the sincere commitment of either party.

In summary, the ideas of agreements, contracts, vows, and commitments can help us understand what a covenantal relationship is. But the word “covenant,” I believe, best describes the whole.

Jason’s department was responsible for the 3D graphics, advanced video graphics, and set designs at 3ABN. Jason was also an important part of our young adult group at 3ABN, and was a regular part of our small group’s activities. For these reasons and more, he will be missed.

L to R: Trent, Scott, Neto, Kyle, Nicole, Michael, Eva, Shelley, Jason, Joel, Michael Y., Robert. Photo taken by J.D. Quinn.

Because of this new plan, I was able to switch to reduced minutes, saving me more than $200 per year, while also giving me unlimited calling to the people I call the most.

I also decided to upgrade my phone at the same time. I currently have the Samsung SCH-A930. It’s been a fine little phone, but it’s a bit bulky, and the reception quality isn’t that great. I chose for a replacement the LG Chocolate 3. Based on the reviews, I’m hoping for better sound quality. I also considered the env2, but I personally hate external keys on phones, so that was the deal-breaker for the env2. I don’t really care about email or messaging at this time, so while the flip keyboard in the env2 is cool, it’s not really that compelling for me.

As long as the sound quality on the Chocolate is better, and I can sync its contact data with Bitpim or Address Book, I will be happy.

(However, I’m still glad it’s not real money. It’s small consolation to be doing well, when “doing well” just means you have tanked, but not as badly as others.)

The overall design and physical construction of the set (including the columns, flaming urns, vines, and other graphics) was the work of others. The Bible itself is a three-dimensional structure, with the open pages gracefully bowing out from the center and tapering to the edges. The page edging is painted gold, like an actual gilt-edged Bible. This structure was the work of Chuck, who is on The Voice of Prophecy team. My role was creating the Bible artwork that would be applied to the page surfaces.

All of the work was done in Adobe InDesign, which allowed me to create the page at actual size. On this scale, the smallest type on the page is 120 points. (Talk about a large print edition!)

The project wasn’t too difficult, as much as it was time consuming. The biggest challenges were: (1) creating a very classical page where all the lines sit on even baselines across the page, all columns end flush, and there are no widows or orphans — more difficult than it sounds with seven chapters of short verses on the spread; and (2) creating the Hebrew sections for Psalm 119, in which I was greatly aided by the program Font Examiner — one of the best type applications I have ever purchased. 

When complete, everything was printed on our Epson 11880 wide-format printer, on canvas. I was quite pleased with the results.

Obviously Hitler is no longer available for car pooling, so I was trying to think who would be the unwanted car buddy for 2009–the evil person most benefitted by all that gas guzzling. Hmmmm. “When you ride ALONE, you ride with … the CEO of Exxon Mobil”? Somehow it doesn’t have the same flavor. Maybe “Osama” or “the Taliban” sounds better–but I’m not sure if that equation really works.

Personally I like to think of my guardian angel sitting there!

Going on the cruise meant skipping GYC, the first one I’d ever missed. I felt a bit sad about that, but then there’s always 3ABN and AudioVerse, where the GYC highlights are captured in all their multimedia glory. The one part I really missed was seeing my friends — but I got to visit other friends, so am consoled.

Our group included my mom, Eugene and Heidi, and me, along with my mom’s Aunt Faye and Faye’s sister Kate. Our cruise was a week-long trip through the Caribbean, including Jamaica, Cayman Islands, and Mexico.

Friday–Saturday, Dec. 12–13

I left home on Friday, December 12, headed for my brother’s home in Arkansas. I arrived in time to attend Ouachita Hills Academy’s Christmas concert, featuring singing, a bell choir, strings, a harp trio, woodwinds, and other instruments. It was a great performance. After the concert I had time to talk with quite a few friends and people I hadn’t seen in a long time. On Sabbath I spent the afternoon with my friends, the Nealls.

Sunday, Dec. 14

Our cruise departed from Galveston, Texas, about a 9-hour drive from my brother’s place. With boarding beginning at 2:00 p.m. on Sunday, we had to leave very early — at around 4:30 a.m. My mom was driving from Tennessee, and had gotten stuck in slow traffic due to bad weather and a vehicle accident she passed. At 4:00 a.m. she hadn’t arrived at Eugene’s, and we were getting worried. But a few minutes later she stepped through the door, tired, but there and ready to go.

Arkansas borders Texas, and most of our driving was in TX. The northeast part of Texas makes southern Illinois look beautiful! Almost makes me think of that song “Tumbling Tumbleweeds.” As we neared Galveston, there were more trees, more hills, more palms, and finally glimpses of the Gulf of Mexico.

We arrived with ample time to get through security and board. We had three cabins between us, which thankfully were all close to each other.

My cabin:

After dumping our luggage, we found a pizzeria on the upper deck. All the meals on the ship were free, and we enjoyed a custom cheese-free veggie pizza. As we sat there waiting for our meal, I spotted a dolphin jumping around in the harbor. A couple more appeared as we watched.

Our ship departed at 4:00. After exploring the ship and unpacking, we all met again for supper. The evening meal was assigned seating, and served. We were in the late seating, so sat down for supper at 8:15. I don’t think any of us are accustomed to eating that late, but we managed. While standing, waiting to enter the restaurant, the ship really rocked, and everyone was laughing as we all swayed together. We had great waiters, one of whom was mostly vegetarian, which was a great help. He really looked out for us. The food was exceptional, and there was always one main vegetarian dish, and various vegetarian sides. My first supper was Indian food (rice and curry), with a fruit platter.

Eugene and Heidi:

The housekeeping staff often cleaned our rooms during meal times. When I got back to my room I found a towel on my bed shaped like a walrus. The staff made different animals each day. I thought it was cool.

An elephant towel critter:

Monday-Tuesday, Dec. 15-16

Monday and Tuesday we were all day at sea. I checked my email once, but the prices were crazy: 75¢ per minute, and the speed was slow. It look me more than 20 minutes just to download my email headers and a few complete messages. No more email on that trip!

The ship kept up a good clip — 15 knots or more I think. It was quite windy on deck while the ship was moving. While watching the waves, I spotted several flying fish jumping away from the wake.

We checked out the mini golf game on deck.

The wind was strong enough to blow the ball around, which added some challenge. Although we usually met or beat the par on most sections, the one with the mouth was very difficult. I think it took me about 20 tries to get it. Some took to less conventional methods to get the ball in:

Monday night was the first of two elegant nights. Everyone dressed up for supper. It was quite a show, all the ladies in their evening gowns, some of the guys in tuxedos. It was obvious that black is still the “in” color for formal events, for men and women both. Not everyone was so dressed up — including us. But I had brought a couple shirts and ties on a whim, for which I was thankful!

On Tuesday, Eugene, Heidi, and I checked out the jacuzzi. I think there were four on the ship’s deck, and we had one to ourselves. It was nice.

Personally I did not have high hopes for the food on the cruise, but we had another unexpected treat that day: veggie burgers!

Some evening shots from on deck:

The “whale tail” is the ship’s smokestack:

Wednesday, Dec. 17

On Wednesday we arrived at Montego Bay, Jamaica. We went out to the taxi area, looking for a ride to Dunn River Falls. The first drivers we met were asking $60 per person (for a group of six!). Others said they would come down to $55. Not only was that considerably more than we expected, it was also more than we could afford. My brother kept haggling. Eventually we found ourselves surrounded by taxi drivers, talking to each other in another language, trying to convince us of their prices, and sometimes loudly jeering us publicly. Eventually we found a driver who would take us for $25.

The ride to the falls was interesting. Jamaica has mountains and beautiful beaches. There were large, beautiful resorts. But most of the country was gripped with poverty. The people looked poor; the houses, even those made of brick, were weathered and ill-kept. Locals meandered along the roads. Flocks of goats foraged by the highway.

The driving there is kind of crazy. People pass each other at high speed in short passing zones with oncoming traffic. On a two lane road, cars traveling in each direction will pull to each side, and a third car will pass down the middle. But our driver was pretty safe. I think he was mainly worried about getting a ticket, having given us such a cheap rate.

We finally arrived at Dunn River Falls. But we were disappointed to find that we had to fork over another $15 per person to get in. The main thing to do there is climb the falls, which we did. It was longer and more difficult than I expected, but everyone managed. Even Faye and Kate, in their 80s, made it all the way up (with quite a bit of help from our guides). There were parts that looked difficult, but I always found good footing, as the park staff keep the rocks free from algae. The only scary part was at a natural pool between falls, where the guides would push people backwards into the water. The guides insisted that it was “part of the experience.” I reluctantly agreed to try it — and survived!

At the start of the climb, everyone — a group of 30 or so — held hands in a long chain, which did make the going easier. But as we progressed, and people became more confident, we tended to go it alone, or in small groups.

There were five to ten spots like this one, with natural pools in between:

On the way back we stopped at a small beach and swam a bit. The water was very nice. There were no fish to speak of, but we found some simple shells — the only shells I found on the trip.

Sunset over the bay at Jamaica:

On this trip we learned that we would need more pocket money than we had thought. Unfortunately, even though I had read advice on this very thing before departure, I had inadvertently brought only $20 cash with me for the whole trip. On top of that, having never used an ATM in my life (incredible, huh?), I did not know my PIN, so could not get any more cash on the ship. I had to borrow constantly to get by. Fortunately the others in the group got more money through the ATMs, so this wasn’t too much of a problem.

Thursday, Dec. 18

On Thursday, we arrived at George Town, Grand Cayman. It was a much cleaner city than Montego Bay, and we had no hassles there.

Our ship did not dock at this port, apparently because the water is too shallow. It anchored some distance off shore, and a “tender boat” took us to land.

Our cruise ship (and if you look closely, you can see the tender boat beside it):

My mom had prearranged a trip to Stingray City, but because the waves were a little rough, our captain had bailed out. We did find another ship, but they could not visit Stingray City either, because of the waves. Nevertheless, they took us to several good snorkeling locations. On my first swim, my mask was not adjusted properly, and I kept getting salt water in my nose and mouth. I’m not a great swimmer, and I had not taken any floatation support on that swim, so I kind of wore myself out fighting my mask and the waves. I waited out the second swim. On the third swim, I got a late start, since someone had taken the fins I was using, and I had to wait for a pair. But when I finally got in, I saw lots of fish, and got to pet a stingray that one of the crew had caught. (It had no tail, having apparently donated it to a shark, the crew said.)

Evening sunset pictures:

Friday, Dec. 19

On Friday we arrived at Cozumel, Mexico. This was my favorite part of the trip. (On a calmer day, with a better underwater camera, I might have liked Grand Cayman as much or better.)

We took a taxi to Chankanaab Park, which was a lot of fun. My mom got a picture of me with an iguana and macaw. The iguana sat there so motionless, with its eyes closed. I think it was going to sleep!

Although there were lots of people there (four or five cruise ships were docked at one time — unbelievable), we had this one stretch of beach pretty much to ourselves.

We snorkeled there, and saw all kinds of beautiful, colorful fish. I even saw what I think was a very colorful parrot fish, but I saw it after I had used my last picture in my disposable underwater camera.

This homely fish kept swimming around my head:

Lots of sergeant majors:

Colorful coral and fish; check out the fairy basslet in the lower left.

After a swim, we enjoyed some other aspects of the park.

One of the attractions at Cozumel (and other places that we visited) was dolphins. However, most of the activities were pricey, so we did not do any of them. However, it was fun to watch. Here is a video of a woman getting a “foot push” from two dolphins:

The park included a salt water lagoon, with all kinds of colorful fish, including parrot fish.

We also saw several kinds of reptiles there, mostly iguanas.

Ordinarily one might think of reptiles as cold-blooded carnivores. We were surprised to find this iguana enjoying fresh greens:

Still another part of the park features reconstructions of Mayan artifacts and buildings.

Two Carnival ships were docked side by side; ours is on the left.

That evening, back on the ship, I sat on the forward deck. I was the only person there. Blocking out the ship’s lights with my hands, I enjoyed a spectacular view of the clear, starry night.

Saturday, Dec. 20

On Saturday we had a worship on deck; curiously, it was the same place I had been the previous night. Eugene led the worship. We had one stranger listening in, whom Faye and Kate talked to afterwards.

More sunset at sea pics:

We passed several oil rigs:

That evening my final wisdom tooth, in my upper jaw, made a major effort to come in. After a couple Tylenol capsules, the pain subsided enough that I could eat supper. Thankfully it didn’t bother me anymore after that.

Eugene and Heidi with our friendly head waiter from Indonesia:

A towel monkey!

Sunday, Dec. 21

Our ship arrived back at Galveston early on Sunday. We headed straight back to Arkansas, and arrived sometime after 6:00 p.m.

Monday, Dec. 22

On Monday, we had an early Christmas. We were joined by Heidi’s sister Pam and her kids, along with her brother David, and also Matthew Morea. There was a delicious Christmas dinner, and then we exchanged gifts. Immediately after that, I headed home, arriving shortly after 11:00 p.m. I didn’t even bother to unpack; the next day was a work day, and I needed sleep!

SUMMARY

It was a fun trip, and I really had a good time. I highly recommend Grand Cayman and Cozumel to anyone wanting a relaxing, enjoyable vacation.

Most of these pictures are also online at my Facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=77863&l=7c271&id=809418097

and

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=78000&l=7fda7&id=809418097

I’m sitting here listening to Josh Groban sing “O Holy Night,” part of my 8+ hours of Christmas music. I’ve enjoyed all the Christmas greetings that have come in today, mostly through Facebook.

Today has been an unusual Christmas for me, here at home alone. Usually I’m with family, and sometimes friends, on this holiday. My family celebrated Christmas early this year, on the 22nd, the day after we returned from our Caribbean vacation (which I plan to blog about soon). We exchanged presents on that day, and enjoyed a delicious dinner. So I didn’t miss out this year; it just came early.

I hope each of you were able to spend some time this season with your friends, family, loved ones. Enjoy the holidays, be grateful for what you have, remember those who don’t have, and spend some time thinking about the gifts of God to you.